As most of you know after Buddy was born, we had two miscarriages. The first one, I was 10 weeks pregnant. The other, I was 14 weeks pregnant. I went through the normal questions of why, etc? I knew God was in control. I had two healthy children at home, so I was already blessed. I didn't really dwell on it that much.
About 7 months after the last miscarriage, Dave and I decided to start trying to get pregnant again. With the previous 4 pregnancies, it seemed like we would think about getting pregnant and it would just happen. Well it didn't work that way this time. We started "trying" in October. By January/February (I know that isn't very much time. But like I said before, it didn't take long for the previous pregnancies) I began to wonder if it was going to happen or if we should just be happy with our 2 children.
At the beginning of February, I went to our mom's group at church. I basically just went for a good time hanging out with other mom's. Our youth pastor spoke at that meeting. When she was finished speaking, she decided to have the prophetic mom's come up and prophesy over all the mom's there. Two things happened that morning.
First, I was prophesied over. I got words like desires of His heart, good gifts, ears to hear, break off lies, pour upon your secrets you have cried out for. None of the words were real specific.
Second, there was another young mom there that just had her second miscarriage. One of the prophetic mom's asked me if I would pray for her. I agreed (In my mind, I was kicking and screaming. I will just say, it is out of my comfort zone.) I don't know if anything I said/prayed helped the other suffering mom, but I believe it helped me with my healing.
That night when I went to bed, I prayed that if I were to have another child that God would just make it clear to me. At that moment, I felt like a punch in my gut. No pain, just the pressure of if someone were to punch my gut. I didn't really know what that meant. I actually told Dave about it the next day and forgot about it. He reminded me a couple months later.
I would say about a week or two after that meeting, I was pregnant. My God is good. I am so thankful for this baby.
It hasn't been easy. My first trimester, I was very exhausted and I felt like I had 12 weeks of PMS....my poor family. Mentally it was hard too. I went to every appointment expecting bad news. And every appointment, the doctors would say "we could possibly hear a heart beat now" and we wouldn't hear it. Thankfully they would then do an ultrasound and we would see the baby and a heartbeat. Then they started asking about feeling the baby, and I hadn't. They figured out that I had an anterior placenta, meaning the placenta was between the baby and my belly; therefore making it impossible to hear a tiny heartbeat and feeling a tiny baby move.
It wasn't until my "big" ultrasound that I believed this baby was okay. We found out at the ultrasound that we are having another boy and that as far as they can tell the baby is completely healthy. I feel him moving all the time and I love every movement!
I am now 25 weeks and so excited to meet this tiny baby. God has given us a name (I'm not posting on here. But if you ask, I will tell you.) It means "God will raise up; God will set free; Appointed by God."