Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Can't Sleep Again!

I know you are thinking "another blog from Thrills about how her kids are keeping her awake." That is not the case this time.

A couple of weeks ago, my former employer (who is a doctor) was arrested and charged with writing fraudulent prescriptions to feed her husbands Vicodin addiction. Then the next day her license was temporarily revoked because some of her employees believe she is using the drug as well.

Now today I got an email from my sister for a website with pictures of a boy who we went to church with when we were in high school. These pictures showed him as a women. Hubby then found this "boy's" blog. So I just spent probably 2 hours reading all of his posts. He is gay and is undergoing procedures to make him a woman. I did suspect that he was gay the last time I saw him a couple of years ago, but I would never think that he would turn himself into a woman.

So why can't I sleep? The problem is that when I found out something so shocking I become obsessed with it. I Google and read as much as I can find on the Internet. Then every second of the day, I think about it. When I finally fall asleep, The Little Guy wakes me up so he can eat and then I lie awake again thinking about it again. It is a vicious cycle. (As you can see, I am writing this at midnight instead of sleeping. I just fed The Little Guy.)

For both of these cases, I started out by thinking "this is interesting. I can't believe I know this person." And then all of the sudden I realize how sad it is. Why have they chosen this path for their life? I am not a crier, but when I think about these two people I could just cry for them.

I know that I need to spend the time I am thinking about them and their situation to pray for them. I always try to figure out how I can help, but I know all I can do is pray.

It is so hard when it is this close to home.


Classic MaMa said...

I know exactly what you mean. There have been many times that I've been overcome by shock, either because of someone I know or because of some horrible thing I see or read. The only thing that helps me is to try to meditate on good things and force my mind to think on theings that are pure and lovely. It's not easy. I'll be praying for your much needed rest, Thrills.

The Gang's All Here! said...

I'm right there with you, T. I know the feeling well and have similar reactions. I'm still so shocked when I come across the sad depravity of the world without Jesus. I agree with CM, I try to spend time reading the Word, and have found in these particular instances that the Psalms are especially helpful. There's all sorts of human conditions exposed there but all of them point us back to our amazing Peace Giver.

One thing I will add is that you can pray over your little ones and use these experiences as tools in your hand to combat the forces of the world that they may face someday - kinda praying up in advance for them. Speaking life and promise over them as you become aware of the things that come your way.

I'll pray for you, for peace and rest to come to your mind and heart and for good rest between feedings!